The Big Bad Wolves: Part 2

We talked a little here about the Big Bad Wolves. I have totally flaked on getting books from the library about STRANGER DANGER and BAD TOUCHING, but the topics have still been on my mind. As luck would have it, in my race packet there was a little bookmark from the Women's Center of Tarrant County that has some great tips that I thought I'd share:

Talk to your child about touching safely without scaring them: "If you are touched by someone in a way that you don't feel right about, tell me or an adult you trust. We will believe you and help you." "We don't keep secrets about touching."

Establish your own set of family rules: "You can say 'no' to anyone who wants you to break one of our family rules. I will back you up."

Play "What if's" to practice decision making: "What if you and I get separated at the mall."

Teach children that adults aren't always right: "Most adults touch children in appropriate ways, but some adults are mixed up and don't make good decisions about touching children." "If you aren't sure about something a grown-up says or does, ask me to help explain it."

Help children develop assertiveness skills: "Leave me alone. I'll tell." or "No!"

Practice responding non-verbally such as: Taking someone's hand off of them, running away, shaking the head.

I plan on going over these with Nigel this week. How have you prepared your kids to fight the Big Bad Wolves?

LaLa Does D/FW

We had our first official overnight guest last week: LaLa (aka, my mom). She arrived on Saturday afternoon and left Thursday afternoon. Nigel was really stoked for her arrival; he even made a sign for the airport — and wrote his name! Her visit had some hiccups (LaLa was bumped from her flight from RVA to ATL, but made it on at the last second when someone gave up their seat; her luggage arrived on a later flight so we had to return to the airport that evening; and we had some roadwork on our street and our water was unexpectedly cut off — for the second time that week — for several hours), but all in all it was a really fun time.

When we picked LaLa up from the airport we met Aunt Nancy and Uncle Dan at Bartley's BBQ in Grapevine for a Texas barbecue dinner (rated among the Top 10 for barbecue in North Texas by D magazine; great smoked sausage, but bland greens). The following day, LaLa and I drove to Parker, Texas, to Southfork Ranch, where the TV show "Dallas" was filmed. It's a beautiful property, and the tour was interesting. I hadn't really watched the show, so LaLa was definitely more into it than me. Then we headed to Grapevine for lunch and shopping. Tim, Nigel and I had been to Grapevine several times before, but I'd never had time to look around. I was a tad disappointed because there were actually more restaurants than shops. When we returned home, LaLa and I took Nigel on a wagon ride around the neighborhood so we could see the gorgeous view of FW by the NBC station. That evening we went out to Los Molcajetes for dinner since the water hadn't yet been turned back on. I had the most amazing chicken (pollo a la plancha. It was such a good value, too. I ate it that evening, and then my mom and I finished it the following day for lunch.

On Monday, LaLa, Nigel and I walked around the FW Botanic Gardens and enjoyed a picnic of veggies and leftover Mexican food. Then we headed over to the FW Zoo to show LaLa Nigel's favorite animals. After a quick drink stop at Starbuck's (the temperature wasn't supposed to get above 83, but it was close to 93 by this time), Tim walked over from work just in time to take LaLa by the FW Water Gardens.

On Tuesday morning, LaLa went with Nigel and I to storytime at the library. After lunch we went to Sundance Square for some shopping and another drink break before picking Tim up from work. Then we all headed down to the Stockyards to see the Heard ushered down the street. After another Texas barbecue dinner at Cooper's (decent chopped brisket, good smoked sausage and very peppery beans), we were pooped and called it a night.

On Wednesday, LaLa's final full day in DFW, we went to Cavender's so LaLa could buy some cowboy boots and played at the mall play area. That evening LaLa and Nigel stayed home so Tim and I could have a date night.

There are several things we didn't have time to do, such as tour the Sixth Floor Museum in Dallas, but I think we packed a ton into this visit. Too much, perhaps. Although we had some time for finger painting and reading stories, next time I'll plan for lots more. Because when it comes down to it, let's face it, everyone really wants to come just to see Nigel!

Look Who's 40!!!

Tim turned 40 on Monday!!!! Last year I had hoped to plan a huge surprise party with all of his friends, but that just wasn't doable from down here. So, we celebrated among ourselves. Well, first I tried to celebrate with his coworkers before he left work for the day. Long story short, he was attempting to leave early to surprise us but it all worked out and we had cupcakes and punch with a few of his coworkers.

Then, we tried to go to Sassy Hot Dogs (Tim's choice) for dinner, but the cart wasn't there. So, we ended up at Dutch's on the TCU campus. Tim and I both got the Bacon Bleu Cheese Burger, which had ample amounts of bacon and cheese. The burger itself wasn't anything to write home about, but the soft, fresh bread and toppings made it awesome! The batter surrounding my gigantic onion rings was studded with chunks of black pepper, which was a nice kick! Dutch's just may have replaced Tommy's as my favorite FW burger joint.

Once we were home, Tim opened his presents — all Star Wars themed. All in all, I think it was a good day. Happy birthday, Tim!!!!

Easter

The Easter Bunny was good to Nigel this year. He brought a kite, a letter book, Salty the Train and some other goodies. He also left a basket at Aunt Nancy and Uncle Dan's in Plano, where we went for a late lunch on Sunday. Big thanks to my mom for Nigel's adorable outfit and shoes!

Nigel was pretty excited about picking out a carrot to leave the bunny the night before. But he asked a ton of questions, which made me realize I hadn't really talked much about the Easter Bunny. "How does the Easter Bunny get in our house? Does he wear clothes? Will he eat a dirty carrot?" I should write some stuff down so my answers don't vary from year to year and ruin the magic!

Earth Day Train Ride

After my first Texas race on Saturday, we hopped the TRE train and DART to Dallas for an Earth Day Festival. Nigel had a blast on the trains. It was a fun, cheap way (free public transpo is a job perk for Tim, Nigel was free and my pass was only $8) for us to get to the "Big, big city."

The festival was a bit lame, though. More sales pitch (think windows, cars, etc.), less tree hugging. Nigel did get to plant a pumpkin seed in a pot and take it home, though, and we learned about recycling spots for electronics and light bulbs around DFW. There were also yoga classes and speakers, but those aren't exactly family friendly things.

My First Texas Race

Yesterday I ran my first race in Texas: Victory Over Violence 5K. The race went through Trinity River Park, which is one of my favorite parks in FW. It was a flat course that was well shaded. The Monument Avenue 10k, which I ran in 72 minutes with my brother last year, has corrals for its 35,000+ runners. There were maybe 3,500 runners/walkers for the Victory Over Violence, and thus, no corrals. Therefore, there were walkers and baby strollers up front, which easily cost me and my running partner, Suzanne, some time out of the gate. I also tacked on a bit of time near the finish line when part of my cheering squad ran onto the course and tried to run alongside me (it was really cute, though).

My chip time for Saturday's race was 41 minutes. Appalling, really. I can — and have done — SO much better. It was a humbling realization that I'm much slower than I was a year ago. When Nigel and I stayed behind in VA from September through November, I all but cut running out of my routine, opting for yoga three times a week instead. I found a great running partner here in FW in January, but had not really been putting forth the effort during the week on my own. But 'tis the season for new beginnings. So I'm dusting myself off and rededicating myself to running. In fact, I think I'm signing up for another race in 2 weeks ... so I can get in at least one more before it gets hot as heck!

Main Street Arts Festival

A week ago Thursday, we all headed down to the Main Street Arts Festival in downtown FW. My friend Amy tipped me off, but I had no idea just how cool it is. It puts RVA's Arts in the Park to shame for sure. Supposedly it's the No. 1 arts festival in Texas and the third largest in the entire country! We went in the afternoon and it was hoppin': live music, tons of cool art vendors and crafts for kids. Nigel made a mask and a tree ornament.

Boot Scootin' Boogie

We don't listen to a ton of country music at our house, but every once in a while the redneck in my DNA gets the best of me. A few weeks ago I taught Nigel some lines from Brooks & Dunn's "Boot Scootin' Boogie." Here's a clip of him singing it with his Texas twang (apologies on the video quality... can't figure out how to rotate it.).

The Going Rate

Message boards and playgrounds are usually hotbeds for childcare chatter. And inevitably, the cost of said childcare comes up. We were recently asked how much we pay our "date night" sitter, and when we said "$10 an hour" we were met with sticker shock. As our babysitters will tell you, $10 is our verbal agreement. However, we often pay more than that ... especially if Tim is the one stroking the check. In our minds, we're leaving our precious child in their hands and there really is no price for that. Our current awesome sitter, Sondra, drives a pretty good distance to get here, so when you consider that gas is like $3.75 per gallon now, she's really not taking home a huge chunk of change. And considering we don't know "the girl next door" or have an office mate who has a teen daughter to throw our way, we're grateful to have found someone! Coincidentally, the May issue of Parents magazine arrived the other day sporting a chart of average babysitting rates around the country. Obviously, where you live factors into that cost. For example, the chart, using numbers from a sittercity.com poll, shows the rates for Portland, Ore. ($11.64); Austin, Texas ($11.42); Boston, Mass. ($14.45); and Charlotte, N.C. ($11.11). The cheapest rate on the chart was Virginia Beach, Va. ($10.01), while the most expensive was San Francisco, Calif. ($15.45). What's your going babysitter rate?

Stuff Nigel Says

When Tim's dad was in town a few weeks ago, Nigel got a kick out of learning that both his daddy and his PaPa are named Tim. Tim told me that during a subsequent conversation about PaPa, he told Nigel that maybe one day he could be a daddy and then Tim would be a PaPa. "And then we'll BOTH be Tim!" said Nigel.

A Sponge

On Wednesday, when Nigel and I were on the way to the gym, I noticed that he was singing the words to "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz. Considering Nigel can tell you the names of every NPR host/hostess, recognize the theme music to every NPR program, recite websites he's heard on NPR and has been singing along to Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" since before he was 2, this shouldn't have surprised me. But it did. This isn't a song that comes on our radio often, and I certainly don't sing along myself each time. And when I'm driving, the volume is barely audible. It's like he's a sponge.

Obviously his sponge-like memory allows him to absorb new words, facts and skills quickly — and I'd be lying if I said he hasn't picked up a few naughty phrases — but it also means he picks up on my "parent propaganda" with ease. For example, I'm no fan of soda. Before my grandmother died she had a lump in between her eyebrows, which her doctor attributed to her enourmous intake of artifically sweetened sodas. Not sure if that was on the mark, so to speak, but it's stuck in my mind. On a rare occasion I'll have a clear soda, such as Sprite, but it's no secret that Tim's a big fan of carbonation... especially real Mexican Coke. Not long after a rant against soda to Nigel, he said "No drinking soda, daddy" to Tim at the dinner table. And the same day that I caught him singing pop music in the car, we had a talk about speaking when spoken to (he hadn't acknowledged his "teacher" at the gym when she said hello). I told him that it's a nice thing to do, especially if you want people to be nice to you. His response? "Oh, you mean like karma?" My heart swelled, y'all!

Choosing Nigel's First Movie

From time to time, people ask us if Nigel has seen this movie or that movie. We always answer 'no' because he has yet to see ANY movie. Sure, we watch the occasional episode of Sesame Street or Arthur, but we're still pretty restrictive with screen time. Plus, we're really just too busy.

But the real reason that Nigel hasn't watched a true movie yet is perhaps that Tim and I can't pick the perfect one. We want it to be a memorable, age-appropriate experience. (My first movie theater movie was E.T., which has left me scarred to this very day.) When Tim was out of town this winter for work, and Nigel and I had been trapped inside by the ice storm for several days, I broke down and tried to find a movie to stream on Netflix. The movies that I had made mental notes about were either PG (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) or were only available on DVD (yeah, we're so cheap we won't pay the extra $2 a month to upgrade our Netflix account). And when I think about borrowing some classics from my childhood from the library — Land Before Time, Old Yeller, Little Mermaid — I quickly remember that they all have sad, scary and/or violent parts.

Tim thought he had found the perfect solution when he bought Nigel Follow that Bird for his birthday. Nigel, however, made Tim turn it off because he was disturbed by Big Bird being trapped in a cage.

Is it so horrible that Nigel hasn't seen a full-length movie yet? No. In fact, it's probably good. I've seen some toddler TV zombies, and it's sad. But it's just one more of those little parenting things that I never in a million years expected to think about so much.

What was your kid's first real movie?

The Big Bad Wolves

Since we're in a new town, going to a new gym, will be traveling this summer and Nigel will start preschool this fall, we're starting to address some of The Big Bad Wolves that come up in a kid's life. First up, STRANGER DANGER. A few months ago we got Never Talk to Strangers from the library to get the dialogue flowing. It's a light, silly story that was good for his age. I'm thinking we might want to move on to some different books, such as The Berenstain Bears Learn about Strangers and Who is a Stranger and What Should I Do. It's a tricky topic since we don't really know anyone here and are constantly meeting "strangers." And of course, we don't want to freak him out so much that he's afraid of everyone.

Along those same lines, we've also been talking about PRIVATE PARTS around here. We haven't read any books on the subject yet, but I might look for Your Body Belongs to You at the library. I've mostly just been sprinkling in mentions of it during potty time or after bath. We talk about appropriate touching (bath and help with potty), who can touch (him, the doc, me and Tim, sometimes LaLa, maybe his preschool teacher) and who can't (strangers and other key people who have raised red flags in my mind). I'm not sure if that's enough, though. The way I tag it on to conversations so casually reminds me of this totally hilarious song from a recent episode of Modern Family — so much so that I've actually played the clip for Nigel:

Take a bite of apple, take a bite of a pear
Take a bite of the cookie that you left over there.
Here’s one thing you should never do:
Don’t bite Taylor, or Brandon, or Sue!
Because people aren’t rude; people aren’t food.
Your friends will run away if they’re scared of being chewed.
And as a side note, private parts are private.

We've also started to talk about TORNADOES since that's now an inevitable part of our Texas lives. Tornado watches and warnings are common here during the spring. In fact, in 2000, a deadly tornado ripped through downtown across the river from Tim's office. And just last night, North Texas was hit by 4 tornadoes, including one in Dallas. You can read more about it here. So the danger exists. Each Wednesday at 1 p.m., tornado sirens ring throughout Fort Worth as a test. This week, I've started to explain to Nigel that tornadoes are dangerous, which is proving to be more difficult that I expected because he's seen Elmo "ride" a tornado in this video. To keep it kind of fun, I've told him he can be the siren helper (help us listen out for the sirens) and that when the siren goes off we'll make a pillow fort in the hall with our flashlights. My main hope is that by talking about it he'll be less freaked out when it happens.

How have you addressed The Big Bad Wolves in your child's life?

Last Week's Restaurant

Before Nigel and I moved down, Tim scoured the web for restaurants that I'd like. He found Spiral Diner, but it wasn't until last weekend that we finally got to try it. We went with some new friends prior to a visit to the zoo. This part of town feels a lot like RVA: local restaurants, coffee joints and hipsters on bikes. Not a chain in view. It was one of those moments that made me kinda fall in love with Fort Worth. Spiral serves organic, vegan food. I'm not a big advocate of soy products, so I tried the seitan-based taco salad. I knew I wasn't eating meat, but the spices and the accompanying tahini dressing made it quite tasty. Tim got a portobello quesadilla, while Nigel had an enormous PB&J. The highlights of our meal were eating outside, the agave-sweetened watermelon soda water and the seed bombs (balls of dirt packed with Texas-native wildflower seeds) in an old bubble gum machine. On Sunday, after I took my poor "vintage" iBook to the Apple store for the second time that week, I met two girlfriends at the Container Store for some shopping. I always see its products in magazines, so I was really excited to learn there was one in FW. I got some neat things, but a lot of what's there is over priced or unnecessary. After shopping, we had dinner at nearby Maharaja, my first taste of Indian food that wasn't cooked at home since we left RVA. I had the vegetarian sampler, and it was really awesome! Their saag paneer is the best I've ever tasted. I'd love to go back for their lunch buffet one day.

We're Crafty!

The craft fun might have started here, but the train is way out of the station. We're on a roll, folks. Uncle George gave Nigel a ton of finger paint, paper and a smock for his birthday, and we've been putting it to good use. Usually interest in art projects last around 4 minutes tops here. But finger paint has staying power. Nigel also likes to incorporate into his creations some of the foam stamps that Granda and Grandpa Worrell (Tim's stepmom's parents) gave him for his birthday. Be on the lookout for lots of artwork in your Easter cards!

FW vs. RVA: Library

I whined here a bit about our local library's lack of a toddler story time. That was a hasty judgment on my part. The format for the all-ages story time is different from what we're used to, but we've all really grown to love our new library. The librarian is super nice. She reads 3 books each week, leads the kids in several songs with movement and provides a craft.

And I'm finding that the library has a much larger selection of books than our RVA library. The children's section has bins of board books and some toys that keep Nigel busy while I look for books for him. In RVA, there were puzzles, but they were at the opposite end of the kids' section, so I would usually grab 4-5 books from the self super fast and run back to Nigel. Oftentimes, that method netted us books that really weren't appropriate for Nigel. Now, I can take my time and look through the books while I keep an eye on Nigel.

There's also a distinct section for holiday books and two others for books in Spanish and Korean. The FW library system also has e-books that can be "checked out" for 3 weeks on an e-reader. Oh, and Nigel's totally smitten with the checkout ladies: They gush over him and give him a sucker every week. Some of Nigel's recent favorite books are: Trade-in Mother (chosen because Nigel and I had a rough morning), A Wild Cowboy (Nigel's still in love with cowboys and this book has a bonus: A multiracial family) and My Big Book of Spanish Words.