One Year Later

One year ago today The McDonald Gang was at the top of our game. Nigel had just turned 2; Tim had completed his master's degree, was recently promoted and was expecting yet another promotion; and I had lost 40lbs and completed a 10k just days earlier.

Our life changed in a matter of minutes. Nigel and I were taking a morning walk in Forest Hill Park when Tim called to tell me he'd just been laid off; he was being escorted out of the building. At first, I thought he was kidding. But it quickly became apparent that this was no early April Fool's joke.

I put Nigel back in the stroller and stumbled home in a fog. My mind was both racing and numb. Despite all of the talk of layoffs and downsizing and unemployment in the news, never in my life did I think this would happen to us. (Tim later told me he saw the writing on the wall almost as soon as he got into the office that morning and noticed he wasn't scheduled to attend a meeting with the rest of his team later in the day.)

When Tim came home a few hours later, we talked and discussed our options. Yes, it was going to be a challenge, but it was also a chance for a new beginning.

I've always been in awe of Tim's work ethic and dedication to Nigel and me, but he really amazed me during those months following the loss of his job. He immediately went to work tweaking his resume and applying for jobs. He even took on temporary work, including door-to-door U.S. Census work. Was it all smooth sailing and argument free? Of course not. There was a lot of frustration. Often times, Tim would never hear a peep from the jobs he applied to. Or when he did have an interview, he wouldn't hear back for weeks — if at all. (Ironically, the job that Tim has now — the one he started in September that made us Forth Worth-bound — he applied to the day after he was laid off.) And since we were exploring jobs in various states, we were constantly reading up on life in different parts of the country. But where Tim was finding numerous jobs to apply to and getting a fair number of interviews, my efforts simply netted one phoner. There just weren't many options for me... especially options with salaries high enough to warrant moving to another state. Fortunately, my freelance work was picking up at the time so I felt like I was contributing a bit.

And honestly, some of the feedback — or lack thereof — we got from friends and and family was frustrating. Some people thought we were jumping the gun by looking for out-of-state employment so soon out of the gate. Others didn't understand why we each couldn't land minimum-wage jobs. I can understand the concern, but I think most people realize now that if we had stayed in RVA we would have been on the street by now. Even after Tim took his current gig here in TX, he continued to get calls for interviews — and one offer — for jobs in other states. None in VA. As for additional temporary employment, that's harder to get than people think. Tim even tried to get PT manual labor work (he has a background in construction), but couldn't land any. Employers see someone with a master's in econ as someone who requires more pay and isn't in it for the long haul. And if we both had somehow managed to land minimum-wage work, it all would have gone to pay for Nigel's care while we were at said minimum-wage jobs. All in all, though, people were supportive. It really showed us just how many people care about us and who we can really count on, as noted here.

Fast forward one year, and we have emerged like a group of lotus from that icky mud. Tim loves his new job. His boss regularly gives him feedback, and there's a clear career path. Nigel is getting to experience another part of the country and will start preschool this fall. And I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone to make new friends and try new things. Those 6 months sans work really reminded us to be grateful for each other and what we do have. Every day I remind myself that we are the lucky ones in this economy. There are plenty of people who would have gone under a lot sooner or turned against each other. And there are plenty of people who have still not found jobs. We pushed negative thoughts and energy aside and found strength in each other. Failure was not an option.

We're still a bit shaken from the experience — we miss our family and our RVA house is still on the market and holding us back —but we can see that this was all for the best. It was the kick in the pants that got us to take a leap.

How Sweet It Is: Ram Fam

Tim and I have 4 VCU diplomas between us (Tim's the one to be impressed with... he has 3 of the 4), so watching the Rams advance in the NCAA tournament has been very exciting. Tim's dad and stepmom have season tickets to VCU basketball so they were able to score seats to the Sweet 16 and Elite 8 games in San Antonio last weekend. In between the games they drove up to FW to spend some time with us. The timing was perfect since Nigel's birthday was Friday. We saw Grandma McDonald not too long ago, but we hadn't seen PaPa since September. Needless to say, Nigel was very excited! After lunch and Nigel showed everyone his new toys, we drove them around downtown FW and to the Stockyards to see the longhorns walk down the street. On the way back to the house we stopped by Riscky's for dinner so grandma and PaPa could sample Texas beef barbecue. Then we had birthday cake and opened some presents. Grandma and PaPa gave us a Wii for Christmas, so to go along with it they gave Nigel a race car game and steering wheel. Nigel had a really good time playing the game. Our visit was short since they had to drive back to San Antonio the next day, but it was so nice to see more family. We're looking forward to spending more time with them this summer when we visit RVA.

There's a THREE-YEAR-OLD in the House!!!

Nigel turned 3 today! In some ways, it feels like he's been 2 forever, so I've been thinking of him as 3 for a while. Despite all the crap the universe dumped on us last year, Nigel has blossomed into an amazing kid. By the time he was 2 he'd already mastered counting to 20 and could recognize and say all of the letters of the alphabet. During this last year he's learned to count to 10 in Spanish and French, skip, put his clothes on and take them off, use the potty, carry on complete conversations, etc. His thirst for knowledge and growth knows no bounds. I'm in awe of how much he can absorb.


We began the big day with a doughnut, juice and a voice mail of my mom and her class singing "Happy Birthday." Next, we took a ride on Thomas the Train. Tim ordered the tickets back in the fall, so we've been excited about this day for quite some time. Nigel's love of Thomas began with a sweet farewell gift of DVDs from his pals Clementine and Gabriel and has been fueled by books from the library. Aunt Nancy and Uncle Dan came over from Plano to join the fun. The train ride was very cool, but in all honesty it was secondary to all of the cool stuff nearby: train and Lego tables, a petting zoo, sandbox, temporary tattoos, music, bouncey house, etc. The only break he took from 9 a.m. to noon was to say hello to his great-grandma on the phone.

When we finally pulled Nigel away from the fun, we had lunch and spent some time at Nigel's favorite playground. After a trip to the grocery store to pick up a cake for tomorrow, we opened a massive pile of presents at home. He was so excited to get some super cool stuff, including finger paints, binoculars, clothes, PJs and a remote-control car. And he seems to really dig the Thomas the Train set we got him.

The magical day was capped by a birthday dinner of Nigel's choosing (chicken nuggets and fries) and a cupcake that he and his new pal James decorated yesterday.

For many reasons, Nigel's birthday will always be a little bittersweet, but I'm totally proud to be his mom.

Last Week's Restaurant

I had a lot of work last week (don't forget to tell your friends about my editing and writing services), so in a moment of weakness I asked Tim to bring dinner home after he took Nigel to the playground on Wednesday. He brought back the most delicious Texas barbecue we've had to date. The spot is Smokeys; Tim read about it in D magazine, and it's gotten rave reviews online. We all had a sampling of meats: roast chicken, pork ribs, beef brisket and sausage. Each item was cooked perfectly; the meat was tender and juicy. Like most Texas barbecue, there wasn't any sauce. The meat was so good I didn't even miss it, though. We also had coleslaw (mayo-based with dried cranberries) and cowboy beans (jalapeno and chunks of meat). I think we've finally found a barbecue place to take guests.

On Saturday, Tim and I dined out sans Nigel. Yep, we have a Texas babysitter now!!! My hairdresser recommended her, and Nigel's smitten. So, while the wee one was in good hands, Tim and I headed to Byblos near the Stockyards. Some of the Lebanese/Greek items we've enjoyed at other Mediterranean restaurants were missing (to coincide with tamer Mid-West palates, perhaps?), but we really enjoyed our meal. My falafel was the best I've ever had. The outside was crispy and studded with sesame seeds, while the inside was still moist. Tim's shawarma platter was thinly sliced sizzling beef served with rice and veggies. The meat was very tender. And everything was served with fresh, hot pita bread. There's also a hooka lounge here, as well as belly dancing (we were too early for the latter).

All in all it was a pretty healthy meal that allowed us for a post-dinner splurge after some sight seeing and walking around an hour or so later: gelato from Paciugo!!! Paciugo is a chain that started in Dallas and can now be found in several states. I think they have more than 250 flavors, including several that are water-based, soy-based and sugar free. The gelato is made daily on-site; there are about 25 flavors out at any given time. Tim and I each got cups that can hold small bits of up to 4 flavors. I got chocolate coconut curry (sweet with a little bit of warmth at the end), roasted banana cashew crunch and turtle cheesecake, while Tim had peanut butter and cherry vanilla. I cannot tell a lie: I ordered something with coconut so Tim, who is allergic to said coconut, wouldn't be able to mooch. This gelato is just that good. YUMMY! I'd been off sugar for at least a month, so when we got home I was totally wired. Next time we'll take them up on the free samples, because there are just so many flavor possibilities (chocolate chipotle butter pecan is calling my name). You really can't go wrong, though!

We're Crafty!

When it was decided that I'd be a SAHM back in 2008, I had such grand plans of daily cooking, craft time, dress up box, etc. Enter real life and the reality that I am not Martha Stewart.

But that doesn't mean we're not getting creative over here. Each week at the library's story time there's a craft. At first, it was a huge pain because Nigel hadn't yet used scissors and wasn't really into coloring for more than 5 seconds. Add to that the fact that Nigel uses both his left and right hands equally well and you have the perfect frustration storm. (I also had a pretty traumatic experience trying to teach a kindergartner how to use scissors a few years ago when I was a volunteer tutor.) But then I remembered I had bought this craft kit on sale after Christmas. We've been practicing cutting with the scissors (first with Play-doh and then paper), and Nigel's really doing well. The kit also came with some plastic tweezers that he can use to pick up small pom poms. The entire thing was designed by an occupational therapist, which is pretty cool. Nigel recently made this sunshine at the library (we finished decorating the sunshine at home; I also actually did most of the cutting on this one since it was a lot of tiny cuts).

We've also been working on drawing people and coloring. I just have this totally irrational fear that he'll get kicked out of preschool this fall because of his lack of artistic abilities (read: my inability to teach him how to color). True story: a friend told me her kids' preschool teacher once said she was concerned because her child wasn't drawing people with necks! But back to Nigel: He's slowly starting to color inside the lines. Last week something really cool happened. We were driving downtown to pick Tim up from work when Nigel said he wanted to draw a picture for Daddy on his little drawing board. I said, OK, well, why don't you draw a face then? And then I told him, first you have a head, which is a circle; then you need two eyes, etc. This is the same conversation we have almost daily when he wants to draw, but this time he drew something that really does resemble a face. Yay developmental milestone!!!!

Things Nigel Says

Sometimes we're totally amazed by what comes out of Nigel's mouth. He's always listening and learning... taking in the world. He's crazy smart. But sometimes what comes out of his mouth is just too darn funny not to pass along. Here are just a few things he's said this week:

"I want to stand on the fat thing." — Said to Tim while pointing at the bathroom scale

"I hurt you in the nose because my head is so big." — Said to Tim after he nearly broke Tim's nose with his head

ME: 8675309
NIGEL: What is that song you're singing? Is it from Yo Gabba Gabba?
ME: No. It's a big person song — from the soundtrack of my life.
NIGEL: Like "This American Life?"
ME: No. But I'm starting to think you listen to too much NPR.

NIGEL (clutching a book about a chicken to his chest): I have a baby in my belly.
ME: Oh, really? Like Miss Catie had a baby in her belly?
NIGEL: Yeah, it's crawling around.
ME: What kind of baby is it (thinking it'd be a chicken)?
NIGEL: It's baby Nora (my RVA friend's now 1-year-old).

ME: Nigel, I love that you're such a good eater. It makes mommy's heart so happy that you eat so many different kinds of foods.
NIGEL: Uh huh. And when I cry your heart cries.

A Day in Plano

We spent yesterday afternoon with Aunt Nancy and Uncle Dan in Plano. We got to tour Heritage Farmstead, which had some cute animals and old farm equipment. Nigel really liked the one-room schoolhouse (he's starting to pretend he's driving to school or walking to school a lot lately) and the chickens. We also toured Plano (our next move) a bit more. Dan took us by some neat neighborhoods, enormous high school football stadiums and Southfork Ranch, which is where the TV show "Dallas" was filmed (my mom and I are touring when she visits next month). We also rode through a neighborhood of mansions and saw a home once owned by Dallas Cowboys' great Deion Sanders.

FW vs. RVA: Wildlife. Take IV

Many apologies if you're sick of my wildlife updates, but I just really get a kick out of nature prevailing in this concrete jungle. Twice this week on my way into a nearby park to run I saw wild chickens (sorry for the grainy cell phone picture at left)! Each time they were in the woods, but pretty close to the road. When I slowed down to get a closer look they took off deep into the woods. The park is on a busy road, but it's also right along the river so I guess there's lots for them to eat.

I did a Google search for wild chickens, and all I came up with is Attwater's Prairie Chicken. Attwater's Prairie Chickens are endangered and look nothing like the ones I saw. So my guess is these guys are domesticated hens that have gone feral. Nonetheless, a pretty cool sighting.

Last Week's Restaurant

When Tim was laid off last March, stress eating kicked in. And when we moved to Texas, trying new restaurants was so tempting. Needless to say, our svelte selves are no longer as svelte. But we're getting back on track. We've joined the YMCA, I'm running more and we're cutting back our restaurant visits.

Don't fret, though, we still have a find to share with you: Dickey's Barbecue Pit. Although we've been warned that pulled pork isn't so swell around here, I gave it a shot. I'm really glad I did. It was very lean and tender. Next time, though, I'll forgo the too-sweet sauce. I also enjoyed the jalapeno beans (think spicy baked beans). Just as we expected, there isn't much green on the menu here... just green beans (cooked with loads of salt and bacon, of course) and salad, which Tim enjoyed with his beef brisket and sausage.

Picking a School Just Got a Bit Easier

There are 1,033 school districts in Texas. Some cities have their own district, some counties have their own, some cities pool their resources to share a district, etc. It's dizzying. Like all parents across the country, Tim and I will consider academic performance and extra programs when considering which school district we'll move to before Nigel starts school. And because we're a transracial family, we'll also consider the district's racial makeup. But never in a million years did I think we'd also have to make sure the school district has banned corporal punishment! Evidently, 20 states in the country allow it, and most are in the Bible Belt. According to this story in the FW Star-Telegram, out of the 1,033 school districts in Texas only 40 have banned paddling. And it doesn't appear that it's just something on the books. It's alive and well. For example, Springtown, which is about 40 minutes from Fort Worth, has utilized corporal punishment at least 103 times so far this year. I cannot believe this still exists in America. Are you as baffled as I am?

FW vs. RVA: Wildlife. Take III

The wildlife Armageddon continues here in FW. It seems like every evening the news has a story about yet another animal that's causing trouble in the neighborhood. First, we have the wild pigs I've been telling you about. Last week, Tim and Nigel were out walking when an animal control officer stopped them and asked if they'd seen a wild pig in the neighborhood. They hadn't, but our eyes are open.

Then we have the Grackles. We have this news story and this article, among others, talking about hawks hired to take out the Grackles. As someone who hates birds, this is my worst nightmare. They are loud, they rest in very large groups and there's poop everywhere.

But this week I also saw this piece on an increase in coyotes nearby and read this piece on destructive beavers. It's wildlife Armageddon, I tell ya!

Our First Visitors: A Little Bit of RVA in TX

We were so excited to see three RVA folks this week! On Sunday we met my friend Melissa and her hubby near Dallas for breakfast. They live in San Antonio, but were in town for a birthday celebration. I hadn't seen Melissa in nearly two years, so it was good to catch up. We're looking forward to making the trip down to San Antonio soon.

On Tuesday, Grandma McDonald flew through DFW on her way to Oregon for work, so we got to visit with her during a long layover. We stopped in Grapevine, had an early lunch/snack in Las Colinas and drove by the stadiums. Traffic is usually a nightmare, but it was so light that day that in hindsight we could have come home for a more relaxing visit. And this afternoon Nigel and I returned to the airport to have a quick lunch with Grandma McDonald as she headed back home to RVA. In addition to lots of hugs and her carry-on bag (which Nigel loved to pull behind him), Grandma McDonald also brought with her a Wii game for Nigel. It's perfect for his age because he simply moves the controller and doesn't have to push any buttons. We're still pretty limiting with screen time here at Chez McDonald, but this is definitely a cool thing.